Changing ingrained habits, thoughts and beliefs is a personal journey and it starts with taking some time for self-reflection. Think about your values and what you’d like to change or grow about yourself. Setting clear, achievable ideas or goals can help guide you, so consider using the prompts below or the SMART framework to identify these and to be specific. Then educate yourself through books or workshops that resonate with you or even coaching or therapy to help you develop the self-awareness necessary for meaningful change.
Gradually work to identify, develop and practice new habits, and remember that consistency is key. Surround yourself with supportive people and let go of those who aren’t willing to support your change process. Keeping momentum for change involves clearing the path for the journey.
It’s also important to embrace challenges; stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to amazing growth; and learning from setbacks is part of the process. Fails can be growth, and thus a positive in my opinion. Regularly check in with yourself to see how you’re progressing, and to give yourself rewards along the way. Accept that this process is not a straight line, it can be messy – that is typical of the change process. Experiencing discomfort at times is part of the growth/change process, and will eventually subside.
Lastly, be kind to yourself—acknowledge your efforts (even tiny steps of progress), celebrate small victories, and remember that change takes time. You’re doing great just by being willing to try and open to the process.
Prompts to spur self-insight as you anticipate your personal transformation:
Self review:
1 – What kind of person have I been?
2 – What kind of person do I present to the world? What is one side of my “gap” like? (gap between 1-2)
3 – What kind of person am I really like inside? What is the other side of my “gap like? (gap between 2-3)
4 – Is there a feeling that I experience, or struggle with over and over again, every day?
5 – How would my closest friends/family describe me?
6 – Is there something about myself that I hide from others?
7 – What part of my personality might I need to work on?
8 – What is one thing I want to change about myself?
Changeful thoughts:
What is the greatest ideal of myself?
What would it be like to be___?
Who in history do I admire and how did they act?
Who in my life do I know who is_____? How do I imagine they feel?
What would it take to think like _?
Whom do I want to model?
How would I be if I were __?
What would I say to myself if I were this person?
How would I talk to others if I were changed?
How/whom do I want to remind myself to be?
What are the values of that person?
How do I want to think?
How would my ideal person think?
What thoughts do I want to put my energy behind?
What is my new attitude?
What do I want to believe about me?
How do I want to be perceived?
How do I want to act?
How would this ideal person act/do/believe/speak/feel?
How do I want to act/do/believe/speak/feel?
What would my energy be like as this new ideal?
Are my beliefs going to get me to where I want to be?