There are common misconceptions about anger that many people don’t realize. Below I’ll explain some of the myths associated with this complex and often misunderstood emotion:
Myth #1: Anger Expression Cannot be Changed.
One misconception is that the way people express their emotions is part of their personality and cannot be altered. Our facial expressions and nervous system responses when we feel upset may be ingrained, but our behavior or response is learned. Since we are not born with specific ways of expressing these challenging feelings, it is possible to adopt more appropriate methods of anger expression. You can also change how your nervous system reacts after feeling upset, allowing you to calm down and self-regulate effectively with practice.
Myth #2: Anger Automatically Leads to Aggression.
Some believe the only effective way to express frustration is through aggression. However, there are more constructive and assertive ways to communicate these feelings. Being able to temper aggression involves controlling the escalation by learning assertiveness skills, changing negative thoughts or “self-talk,” challenging irrational or unhelpful beliefs, and employing various behavioral strategies and practices.
Myth #3: Aggression is Required to Get What You Want.
Many confuse assertiveness with aggression. Aggression by nature is hostile and destructive. It’s goal is to dominate or intimidate others emotionally, physically, or verbally, often at any cost. In contrast, assertiveness entails an air of confidence and seeks to express feelings in a way that respects the self and others. Assertive communication does not involve blaming or threatening, which minimizes the risk of emotional harm.
Myth #4: Anger Needs to be Vented.
For years, it was widely believed that aggressive expressions, such as screaming, shouting or hitting pillows, or rage rooms were healthy and therapeutic. However, research studies have found that those who vent their anger aggressively simply get better at being upset. Often, venting in an aggressive manner reinforces aggressive behavior.
Before this blog post outlining anger myths, did you believe any of these myths about anger to be true? If so, which ones?
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anger: A Step-by-Step Program for Success is a helpful book to help you understand and process Anger (paid link).
If you are in Austin, or Texas and would like to explore your options for anger management or therapy (online or in-person), feel free to reach out for a free 15-minute phone consultation. You can click here for more information.